Wednesday, July 9, 2014

america's lost boys

Confession of the week: I am a closet Bachelorette watcher.  I don’t watch The Bachelor. Way too many crazies full of estrogen and alcohol for me. And I don’t really even routinely watch The Bachelorette.  But as this recent season started, I made the mistake of checking out the first episode and now I am hooked.  
This time around though, it wasn't just the draw of watching a group of very nice looking men lounge around or better yet, run around half clothed. While watching the first episode, I realized the show has been on long enough now that the men courting this woman are the age group that fascinates and confuses me. And the house is full of them.
They are a generation of men who desperately want to fall in love.  Have a great job so they can take care of the girl. Drive a nice car. Have kids. Did I mention fall in love?  But yet none of them can figure out how the hell to do it.
The men on the show...and some I know in real life...flounder around trying to figure out how to make a living.  Many still live at home even after finding a job because the economy sucks and just because you have a job doesn’t mean you can afford a place to live. They also seem to think they deserve lots of nice things regardless of how hard they work but accumulate them too fast only to lose them in the end.  And, if they are at all like the men on The Bachelorette, they cry…. a lot.  Over anything and everything.  
The thing that they seem to be the worst at though is dating. Which is sad because they seem so desperate to find love. And I think some of them would make really great boyfriends and ultimately husbands. But I listen to the guys I know of this generation talk about what I refer to as dating and half the time they don’t even know what to call it. I hear phrases like hanging out, talking, snuggling, hooking up and texting, and I don’t even know what the  hell any of that means. So I’m pretty sure they don’t either...which is part of the problem. What ever happened to taking a girl out on an actual date?  And making your intentions known somewhere along the line? How do they expect to get anywhere with girls if they don’t have a plan?
It doesn’t help that somewhere along the way, they all stopped talking to anyone face to face.  Hell, some of these guys actually meet a girl, fall in love and break up within 3 weeks all through just texting.
And while this new generation of men in salmon capris who wear scarves with their t-shirts and groom more than I do confuse the hell out of me, I genuinely feel bad for them. Somewhere along the way, society changed and the “American Dream” became unattainable by no fault of their own. And in the end, very few enjoy the path of college, great job, nice car, big house, wife and kids.
So they wind up on reality tv shows or living in mom and dad’s basement or working two jobs they hate all while trying to figure out what the hell their American  Dream is supposed to look like.
America has created a generation of lost boys, and I hope they one day find what and who they are looking for.

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