Sunday, September 11, 2011

high school musings

As much as I don't want to admit it, it's about that time.  And by "that time," I mean it has been so long since I graduated high school it's time for a 20 year reunion.  But what I WILL admit is, I don't get it.  I don't get the tradition, I don't get what it means and I don't get what the point is. 

Its been 20 years and now because tradition says so, we are supposed to plan some event so we can get back together with people we knew during what was seriously a blip on our radar of life.  The only reason we even "know" each other is because we lived in the same area for an instant in time and were forced to spend 8 hours a day for 3 years within the confines of the same walls.  We didn't talk to each other or hang out with each other because we had things in common.  We did because we were the only people around all day. 

And while they will preach those years were our golden years, our informative years, the years that mold us...I say bullshit.  I'm not the person high school made me.  God, that person wouldn't be a person I would want to meet...I didn't even know who I was back then.  I became the person I am now because of the things that happened after I left high school.  After I made friends with people I had things in common with and started actually living life and not caring what people thought. 

I have met a TON of people over the last 20 years who have played huge roles in my life.  And at this point and time most of these people have moved on from being the center of my life...due to changing jobs or moving away or dying.  I would LOVE to have a reunion to see some of these people...I miss some of them so desperately it takes my breath away.  But I don't get that option.  No one ever screams hey, its time to reunite.

But that high school graduation date sneaks up and someone screams.  Someone screams hey, lets get back together.  Us people who don't know each other beyond our 18 year old selves, beyond the brains and jocks and princesses and cheerleaders and the punks we once were.

And I don't get it.  What is it we are supposed to achieve with this one night of reconnecting?  Is it so those doing well can boast?  Cause I can tell you that's why some people won't come.  Is it so you can feel better about yourself because others aren't doing as well as you?  Is it cause you're still pining for the one who got away? 

I guess though my ultimate question is why do I think I need to go?  And I think the answer might be because, much like the reason I can't NOT watch The Jersey Shore, I love train wrecks.  And I think high school reunions might just be the old-school train wreck no one is willing to look away from.

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