He sits on the other side of my cube wall and his name is Billy...and his story is always JUST a little worse than yours. Billy also talks very loudly (as I think he is proud of his opinions and the way each day seems to kick him when he's down) and so its hard to miss what Billy has to say.
Just recently the day after a huge snowfall kept half the workers at home, Billy shows back up at work and joins the discussion of did you make it in easier today. Of course Billy didn't make it in easier. While he admitted the snow was plowed, Billy encountered a truck that kicked up some rocks which subsequently cracked his windshield.
Other poor Billy moments:
Billy's electricity goes off and he has to rush home b/c clearly the wife can not move his child to a different, warmer location.
Billy is allergic to dust...but insists on dusting his cube every Monday and then proceeds to complain b/c he can't breathe after kicking up the dust.
Billy's mother-in-law doesn't like his cooking.
And the best one in my book...Billy wishes people would stop pretending to be gay and then raising kids who of course wind up gay and muck up his world (this opinion is not shared by this writer...only Billy).