Tuesday, July 6, 2010

sign here please

They were dropped off at my door the first time we met them by a driver and i signed for them like i would a UPS package. They had been picked up from homes they had been living at for 10 months by a stranger and brought to our house where they were told they would meet two new people. They walked into my house without hesitation and all i could think of was had that been me at that age I would have been crying. I can not imagine how any child at any age deals with this...how they aren't so broken they can't even function. But they do...they hung out with us and ate dinner and played. The 9 year old even had enough foresight to have an agenda for the meeting. He had clearly been told why they were coming to visit us...that being our house may be an opportunity for the two of them to move back in together. So it was very clear he was scouting us and the place out. Near the end of the visit he said he had some questions. He wanted to know how old we were, he wanted to know if we had bikes they would get to use and he wanted to know if they would get to go to the pool a lot. It was a very small agenda (im sure any 9 year old's is) but it was an agenda none the less and it impressed me he had one. It also made me sad that a 9 year old has been through so much already that he instinctively knows he needs an agenda. At the end of the visit the same driver (now a little less of a stranger) came back, I signed them back over to her and they were taken back to their respective foster homes. At that time they had no idea if they would be coming back to live with us or not. For all they knew they would meet 8 more families just like us before someone said yes. These kids have nothing to depend on but the system. They have to hope the system has made the best decisions in who gets to be a foster family, they have to hope the family they wind up with doesn't have a hidden agenda and they have to hope the system gets them to where they need to be to make it in the end.

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