Saturday, January 16, 2010

i still miss you

I had a dream last night...one of those dreams that is so vivid you KNOW it is actually happening. You remember the feels and the smells and when you wake up you're not sure what was real and what wasn't. But I knew none of this one was real because when i woke up I remembered you're still dead.

But for a few moments last night in the in between...I got you back.

You were playing drums. You didn't play drums...I know that. But you were playing them at some house party. Not well...but it was funny. Then when you left this little stage someone had set up you came over to me and gave me a hug. One of your hugs that always made someone feel so unbelievably safe. You were a good hugger...anyone will tell you that. They even talked about that at your memorial. Then you walked away and I knew you weren't coming back.

And then I woke up...back to the place where you are not anymore.

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