Sunday, December 26, 2010

the women we come from

Growing up, the women who raise you are the only role models you know. You have mothers or grandmothers (or both) you live with, who run your life, who show you how the world works. And you don't know any better. You think what they show you is assume their perspectives and opinions are what's it all works. You grow up into the woman you think you should be. Then you find yourself at 36 and you start to realize where you came from isn't what you thought it was. These women didn't have it all figured out. Much to your dismay they didn't or don't actually know what the hell they are doing. They were simply making it all up as they went...and they may have fucked it up along the way. And now you find yourself on a completely course from how their world played out and they no longer get you. You have found the independent person in yourself while they have never lived without a parent in the home. You have a lot more education and you now have conversations with them where they no longer know what you're talking about. You argue a case and they point out how sometimes you just have to put up with shit. You sit in a parking lot defending why you don't take shit off people and they give you stories of abuse and wrongdoings and tell you that yes you do have to take shit off people. And you look at them and go I don't want to be that person who thinks they just have to take the can be different. And you suddenly realize the woman you came from is just a person...a person who never had it all figured out...a person you no longer want to be like.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

more jackyl and DMC

DMC with a chainsaw

Jesse with a chainsaw

jackyl and dmc



Jesse crowd surfing

coat fiasco

Mr. Grumpy Pants and Captain Energy seem to think they dont need to wear coats and its really starting to annoy me. My problem started when i bought them fleece jackets at walmart a few weeks ago. They were like $7.00. and while they were too light for more than a couple warm days last week i figured they can use all the coats they can get once they go back home.

So the day we gave them the fleece jackets it was near 60 and that was actually all i sent them to school in. But then the next day was 40 and windy so i told them they would have to wear coats. They wanted to wear the jackets again so i bargained. I told them they could if they wanted to wear a long sleeve t-shirt and the fleece I was cool with that. BUT they still had to wear a coat to school.

Easy enough right?

So the next morning i come downstairs and they are both wearing their fleece
so i say ok guys get your stuff...meaning bags, lunches, coats. Im get my stuff and turn around and they are both standing there with just their bags. Coats people...i need coats.

The next morning i come down and Captain Energy has on a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie and his fleece. Looks ridiculous. So i tell him he's going to need to take one of those off. Why? Cause you have to wear a coat. I'm wearing a coat. wearing a ridiculous combination of jackets. My frind says this is my fault as after all I did say he could layer.

Morning 3...I get Captain Energy to put his coat on and i turn around and Mr. Grumpy Pants is standing by the door in just fleece. Seriously people. That morning i had enough and I told them that at no point from here on in will they NOT need a coat...and it has to be WORN. Some mornings they try to carry it to the car defeating the purpose as my car stays outside..duh!

Morning 4....Mr. Grumpy Pants winds up with his coat on but Captain Energy is standing there with no coat...holding his fleece...back pack on. So i tell him you need a coat. He proceeds to take his back pack off and pull out his coat...puts the coat on and then the back pack. He's still holding his fleece. Im LATE at this point. So i say put the fleece on the couch. No i want to take it. Ok...if youre not wearing it then youre not just carrying it in...youll lose it between the car and the classroom. So he then proceeds to attempt to take the back pack off so he could take the coat off to put the fleece on and then put the coat back on and then the back pack. Fleece not on, it stays home! That morning i told them they have to have EVERYTHING on they are wearing to school when i come downstairs or you can't take it.

This morning....Captain Energy is standing in the kitchen with his back pack on and JUST HIS FLEECE. I need a coat. Im wearing a coat. NO YOURE NOT. Now I tell them we have gone over this for a week. A WEEK. Next time either of you pulls this the fleece is mine. Then I go...its 12 outside. 12!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

between the lines

Somewhere over the course of the last year I have lost the ability to park correctly. I have been driving for 20 years at this point in my life and I've been parking all this time...parking correctly, between the lines. But for reasons unknown to myself about 75% of the time I now do a bang up job on the parking and get no where near to being in the lines. I cant for the life of me figure out where or how I lost this skill. But I do know that backing out and trying to fix it never helps as I do not have ANY backing up skills...never have. Don't worry though if you find yourself in the same parking lot as me...if I have two cars to atually pull in between, I'm rockstar. I won't hit you...unless I'm in reverse...then you might want to avoid me!

Friday, November 12, 2010

cube land theft

My Diet Dr. Pepper was stolen today. I sat it next to my cup in the kitchen while I went to the restroom. It was 10:00 AM and it was my morning routine of getting out of the confines of my cube. I came back and the cup was there but the Diet Dr. Pepper was gone. How did someone not know that it wasn’t theirs to take? They have to know they didn’t take it into the kitchen. And they have to know that the company is not prone to offering free beverage in the way of random cans left in the kitchen. So why on earth would you just pick up a can of Diet Dr. Pepper that wasnt yours and think it was ok?

Two days later a fellow employee’s creamer goes missing out of the same kitchen. She had her coffee cup and a jar of creamer sitting on the counter while she also ran to the restroom. She comes back and the coffee mug is there but no creamer. REALLY have to know that the creamer is not yours. This time, even if you were confused and thought perhaps the company had supplied the creamer…its not yours to take. It would have been for the employees to share. She sent out an email in search of the creamer…it never showed back up.

Later that week we heard someone had bought a fellow employee a box of Klondike bars for his birthday. Put them in the freezer for him and his co-workers to enjoy later that day. When they went to retrieve said Klondike bars, the box had been opened and one was missing. Ok, really…who does that? You KNOW you didnt buy the damn Klondike bars.

At this point complaints are submitted to our main administrative assistant (or in this case babysitter) and an email goes out telling people to stop stealing. And I’m sure she cursed at us as she typed it. This may be cube world people but respect other people’s belongings. If you didn’t buy it, it’s not yours to have.

Monday, October 11, 2010

ground hog day #345

Captain Energy and Mr. Grumpy Pants had well doctor checks last week and Captain Energy wound up with strep. After hours at the doctor and a trip to Dillons for medicine the husband and the boys roll home. Captain Energy tells me that neither of them brought home slips for the day. So I looked at him and said "you didn't bring home a slip but you brought home strep." He looks at me and says "I have strep?!?"

Sunday, October 10, 2010

favorite 5 of the week

1. Hearing the giggles pouring out their bedroom window as I walked up the driveway after my run.

2. Make a friend nearly spit coffee out on his computer Tuesday morning.

3. Our waitress Friday night accidentally forgetting to put 4 of our drinks on the bill. She got herself a nice fat tip.

4. Yoga on a Saturday morning and lunch at the Merc.

5. Captain Energy and Mr. Grumpy Pant's Wii characters. Mr. Grumpy pants went with a mean looking african american with a hella afro while Captain Energy went with a Caucasian male with spiky hair.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

silence is golden

Due to unforeseen circumstances I found some space in my life by choosing to limit communications with a few different people. At the time it stressed me out that it had come to that point. But a couple days later I had a couple of really great days which have since turned into a really great weekend....and I suddenly realized that these people were the ones causing a lot of the turmoil in my life. It was their constant calls and their problems and there stupidity about how they lead their lives that had been occupying my time and making me crazy. I have a friend that spends a lot of time under a rock....its quiet there. And I've decided to join him there for a while. I've always been a fan of small intimate gatherings...I'm gonna leave it at that for now.

ground hog day #234

Transport for Captain Energy and Mr. Grumpy Pants fell through a couple weeks ago and we had to help out with pick up after their visit with mom. Mom lives in Topeka and its always around dinner time on Saturdays they have to be picked up. So on our way back through Lawrence we stopped for dinner at Quizno's. Kids eat free and they always get prizes with dinner so it works out. We ate there and then headed home. It was nice out so we let them work off some energy riding bikes before we came in to start a movie. I was in the kitchen fixing drinks and Captain Energy wanders in and asks me "Did we eat dinner yet?"

Really with that?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

favorite 5 of the week

1. My new found quiet.

2. Disappearing on a Wednesday afternoon.

3. My new (although stolen) cup.

4. Sunday at the zoo (specifically when we were standing next to this older man watching the monkeys and Captain Energy said "he has a funny butt").

5. Being told it was his best party ever.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

don't mess with Chad

I am still fairly new at dropping the kids off at school in the morning and I'll have to be honest...until just recently it made me nervous every morning. Apparently there is a drop off "dance" that one has to assume and there is one very small man who orchestrates this dance every morning. His name is Chad (I've now determined), he stands out front of the school every morning and you don't want to cross Chad. Chad is about my height and can't weigh much more than me, but he has pretty clear ideas about how this dance is supposed to go and he is not afraid to call you out when you mess this dance up. Unfortunately for one told me about this dance. So it took me a couple weeks to determine what would get me in trouble as I drop off the kids.

One of the first days I got in trouble because i was too slow in letting the boys out. The cars in front of me had pulled away and I wasn't empty yet to pull up. I got the frantic wave on from Chad before my back door was even shut. The next time i got in trouble b/c as I passed Chad to drive away the car in front of me stopped. This car was already past him so he thought I was stopping and I again got the hurry up wave on...until i pointed at the car that had caused the back up...then he felt stupid.

At this point I was now determined to not get in trouble again. So I started paying attention to what got people in trouble. I determined how far i was supposed to pull up and when to wait to unload if I already had cars unloading in front of me as I pulled up. The boys play along and are always ready to go as I unlock the door and move quickly to avoid us getting yelled at for holding things up.

Now the fun part is watching all the other cars get in trouble. Our most recent episode saw two cars get in trouble on the same morning. When we pulled up there were already 4 cars there unloading so I knew we needed to wait to unload so as not to hold anything up. We were sitting in line and car #2 gets done before car #1 and proceeds to pull out and around car #1. Before we knew it Chad was out in the drive in front of this Ford F-its so big its tires are bigger than my car-truck and throws his hand out to stop it. I go 'oh oh' and the boys start giggling. Chad lets them move on after car #1 finishes and so now cars 1, 2, and 3 pull away. The car in front of me has also waited to drop off so now they pull up and I follow. However, now this car doesn't pull around the curve far enough and they start getting the frantic wave on from Chad. I go 'good god, now they're in trouble' and the boys are rolling at this point. We some how made it through without any trouble that morning.

I have since met Chad when I dropped off b-day treats last week and he is very nice. I also think i caught some leniency as he is a runner and I have a running sticker in my car window. But you definitely don't want to piss off Chad at drop off.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

favorite 5 of the week

This was a hard week to start this back up as it was probably the worst week of the year right I've only got three.

1. Winning one against the boss.

2. Captain Energy busting out the butt dance in the garage as I pulled in the driveway with my stereo thumping (that's right my stereo thumps).

3. My new ring...I think it changed my energy.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

a confused state of faith

I stay away from religion...i don't participate in anything religious, i don't partake in discussions about religion, I don't express my feelings about religion...i don't think much about it really. But the other day i read an article about teens today who are "fake" Christians. The article actually warned parents their children are following a "mutant" form of Christianity. The article got me pretty worked up. And not because i don't share similar thoughts of anyone religious but b/c I think its absurd someone would accuse a Christian of not being Christian enough. They accuse these who say they think god wants them to do good and feel good, kids who participate in community service and want to make the world a better place...of following a watered down version of their faith that doesn't do them any good. And that doesn't make ANY sense in my head. Why on earth would you fault someone for not being articulate enough about their faith? What difference does it make if they can't spout scripture if they are helping others and bettering society?

This thinking is probably what caused me similar confusion a couple weeks ago during a conversation i had with the step-mother-in-law. We were down at the lake house with the boys and we stayed Saturday night. She had told me the day before she was going to get up and go to church on Sunday. We were fine with that...we figured we would hang out at the house until she got back home. Sunday morning she decided to forgo church and instead go to the beach with us. We don't see each other often and i actually thought it was cool she wanted to instead spend more time with us before we left. And while she did make the decision to not attend church, she then subsequently beat herself up for the better part of the day for not going. When we arrived at a near empty beach she made a couple comments about how all the "good people" were in church. And how she should probably be there too. And it made me a little sad. Because in my head I would think a god i would be interested in would want her to spend time with family out in nature ...even if that meant she wasn't going to sit in a man made place of worship for one Sunday.

My confusion continued again last Saturday as I rounded the corner of my street on the end of my 4 mile run. There was a mini van parked in front of my house...I wasn't expecting anyone. As i walked up my driveway I could tell there was like 5 people inside. I was home alone so i just headed on inside as I wasn't sure what was going on. I watched after I got inside though and out of the car pours 5 adults and two little girls...all armed with bibles. I've seen this before and will see it again...i get it. But what i want to know is what is their success rate? They spent about 30 minutes on my street. I'm assuming they didn't get in anywhere. I'm assuming that much like me, I'm set with what I think and its not going to change b/c an old man and his granddaughter show up at my door with a bible. I guess the thing that confuses me the most is...why can't they take that 30 minutes they spent here and all the other minutes they spent getting no where that morning and instead go do something helpful. There are soup kitchens that need servers and habitat houses that need to be built. There are battered women's shelters that need volunteers and who knows what else.

In the end, everyone has their own opinions and I'm not faulting anyone or ridiculing anyone for their religious beliefs. I think what I think and they think a different way. I guess it just makes me sad the ideas and values and ways of existing that religion is supposed to instill in people are lost in the arguments of whether someone is Christian enough.

ground hog day

I posted not too long ago about Captain Energy's short term memory. Since then I have decided that more times than not its much like that movie Ground Hog Day around my house. After the phone incident it happened again as we were getting ready for a weekend at the lake. My father-in-law has a lake house and we were invited to bring the boys down for a weekend. Once we had told the boys about it, we had then talked about it on numerous occasions throughout the week. We are sitting eating dinner the night before we leave and I tell Mr. Grumpy Pants and Captain Energy that we need to finish packing after dinner. Captain Energy asks what we are packing for. The conversation continues like this:

Me: We're packing for the lake.
Captain Energy: What lake?
Me: Remember...Jeff's dad has a lake house?
Captain Energy: Yea
Me: And remember we're going down to the lake this weekend?
Captain Energy: We're goin to the lake?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

our favorite little man


they're on a boat


Thursday, September 2, 2010

back at it

Tonight's 3 miles was accompanied by Brett Dennen, Matt Hires, Imogen Heap, Jay-Z, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Lil Wayne and Pitbull (while it may seem like a weird combination it works for three miles) and included a neighbor who some how managed to get pulled over in their own driveway by the friendly Eudora cops and a dog on the back 1/4 mile that about made me piss my pants and the jump start of some words.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

sunday worship

3 boys on bikes, my running shoes and 3 miles. Thats how we do it.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

short term memory

I got a new phone last night. Captain Energy and Mr. Grumpy Pants were fascinated with am I. I showed them some of the features and they watched part of a movie on it. This morning the bag from the T-Mobile store is sitting on the table when the two wander downstairs. Captain Energy sees the bag and then has the following conversation with the husband:

Captain Energy: Did you buy us presents?
Husband: No, why?
Captain Energy: What's in the bag?
Husband: That's the bag that Krista's new phone came in.
Captain Energy: Krista got a new phone?

Seriously with that?

missing in action

I cleaned Mr. Grumpy Pants and Captain Energy's bathroom the other day and decided I was tired of the toothpaste sitting out on the I put it in the drawer. This was the first time since they arrived I had rearranged anything in their space like that. So I'm laying in bed the next morning and the two yahoos are up along with the husband. The husband has given direction to brush teeth and then wandered downstairs. So I hear Captain Energy head into the bathroom. Not two seconds later he is at the top of the stairs yelling for the husband. The husband asks what's up to which Captain Energy answers 'the toothpaste is gone. Someone took the toothpaste.' Not only was it funny to me that the fact the toothpaste may belong in a drawer seemed foreign to him but I thought it was hysterical he would think someone took it. Who exactly did he think had wandered in during the night and ganked the toothpaste. When the husband found it in the drawer Captain Energy responded with his usual....hmmm.

harness the feelings

I watched a show last night where one of the choreographers created this dance which he said came out of the anger he recently felt when someone close to him stabbed him in the back. And while it was angry and sad and heartbreaking it was also poetic and amazing...i was envious he had created something so beautiful. As a creator myself I understand how to harness those feelings into the creation process...some of the best words that come out of me are based on anger and sadness and fear. What i wish is that everyone knew how to harness their feelings like that. We spend so much time as a society talking about our feelings and how we should deal with certain types of feelings and how some feelings are unacceptable. But what if there was more emphasis on taking those feelings and instead redirecting them at the creative process. Can you imagine how much more creation...creation of anything....would happen?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

the system fails

I know a lot about the foster system these days. How its set up, why it exists, how it breathes, how it protects the kids. And I get it all. I get that these kids need a safe space to stay while their parents need time to figure things out. I get that everything is set up for the best interest of the kids. And that there are time frames and plans that ensure they wind up somewhere permanent within two years...whether that's back home or some place new (and ultimately better). And why wouldn't it be about the kids? They need people looking out for them seeing as how they can't stand up for or defend themselves at that time in their lives. But with these kids comes their parents who are the reason these kids are in the foster system. And these parents usually need help. They are asked to clean up their act, find better places to live, provide what they weren't providing, change the way they raise their kid, quit yelling, quit hitting, quit drinking, quit anything addictive. Simply put...they are asked to be a better parent. And this is where the system fails. These parents have no idea how to do the things they are being asked to do. They don't know how to quit or change the behaviors because these behaviors (or faults) didn't start with them. Shit, who knows how many generations these behaviors have been in place. These parents probably come from generations of addicts and abusers and neglectors. So of course they have NO idea how to change their behaviors...especially change them in the short time frame they are asked to do so. And while the system offers up all sorts of money to protect and assist these kids, there is no assistance for these parents. No classes offered, no financial assistance...nothing. There are parents out there with no high school educations, no drivers licenses, no jobs, and basically no know how to even go and find themselves a lawyer. How the hell are they supposed to shape up with no basic life skills in place. These parents are asked to put in place what i have spent the last 15 years of my life putting in place...they don't have 15 years. And no matter how much i want to be angry at a parent for the fact their child wound up in my home, i can't not feel sorry for the her. For while I'm taking care of her children, at least I have the ability and skills to do that. She's trying to figure out how to negotiate a situation she is completely unequipped to negotiate.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

found object #1

I have the most random shit show up in my house now. This feather showed up out of no where...I'm assuming it was in a pocket.

is that a banana in your pocket?

I found this after everyone left the other morning...I have no idea why it's on my couch.


Captain Energy is popular with the ladies. He has an addition on his bike that makes it sound like a motor bike revving when he turns it. The girls stand up on the end of the cul-de-sac and he 'revs' it when he drives by and i here them giggle 5 houses down.

yet another rogue sock


another one bites the dust

Captain Energy had this action figure for only two days before he launched it 2 stories in the air onto my neighbors roof. He asks about every 5 days if we can go see if "mohawk guy" has fallen off the roof.

cause ive got one hand in my pocket

I heard Alanis Morissette on the way home and thought of you. You bought me the Jagged Little Pill CD the day it came out. You gave it to me that night I got stuck walking 2 miles to a gas station so I could call you to come pick me up after my piece of shit Ford broke down for the 80th time.

I think I'll cry every time i hear bag pipes for the rest of time.

I have to close my eyes still if I'm watching a movie that involves a helicopter crash.

The last time I talked to you, you said I should give parenthood a try cause it was pretty cool. You would have liked the boys.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

radio edit

Captain Energy was in his room on Sunday having a solo dance party. They have a little CD player/radio and they like to listen to The Rock. So i wandered upstairs for one thing or another and i can now hear the music better but every minute or so the music goes quiet...just for a second though. So i wander closer to the room and it goes silent again and i hear Captain Energy say 'bad word' then he turns it back up. Apparently my husband edits his unsuitable CDs for them in the car by turning down the sound as inappropriate words are said...kind of like his own dump button. Obviously radio stations are fairly kid friendly but apparently Captain Energy now believes all stereo listening requires self editing.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

too many toes

Captain Energy is fascinated with my upkeep of my nails. Today he sat and watched while I took polish off my toenails...he thought that was pretty awesome. While he's watching he counts my toes and we then have the following conversation:

Captain Energy: Why do you have 5 toes?
Me: Everyone has 5 toes.
Captain Energy: No they don't.
Me: Yes they do.
Captain Energy: I don't.
He takes his sock off and counts 5 toes
Captain Energy: Oh wait...maybe not on my other foot.
He proceeds to take his other sock off and again counts 5 toes
Captain Energy: Hmmm

Thursday, July 22, 2010

just add water

Captain Energy has decided he wants my husband to wash him on bath nights instead of me. The husband is a little more laid back in all tasks and so often times both boys take advantage of the situation. Captain Energy requests the husband again last night so I wander into our bathroom to wash my face...they were in the bathroom on the other side of the wall. Apparently no more than 5 seconds after my husband enters the bathroom Captain Energy decides to stand up and then proceeds to lose his balance. He hits the wall so hard i think he's coming through the wall and then based on my husband's response displaces over half the water in the tub onto the floor, wall and ceiling. After he confirms Captain Energy is ok it gets pretty quiet as the husband explains to him how he's worked all day and doesn't want extra unnecessary work like cleaning up the pond that now exists in our bathroom. And because Captain Energy comes from a background of the non-working there is then a conversation about what work is, why we work and what it pays for....including the water that is now on the floor. I'm sure most of the message was lost as soon as the door opened and Captain Energy was on to the next one.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

good "e"ffort

We lost a bouncy ball and hot wheel under the fridge. The Hot wheel was found but even after 15 minutes the bouncy ball was never recovered.

another rogue sock

Seriously...why is it there and where is the other one?


Captain Energy and Mr. Grumpy Pants just met the girl who lives around the corner...and therefore so did I. Here is the conversation I just had with her.

What happened to your hand?

Are you their mom?

I'm adopted and my dad is in jail.

If we were only all that forthright...

girl approved

We're in the grocery store the other day and Mr. Grumpy Pants and I are waiting while jeff and Captain Energy are on one of many pee breaks (apparently lots of energy means lots of pee) and he sees some Axe body wash. He tells me that's the kind of body wash he likes to use. He then asks me if I want to know why he likes to use it. I say sure...although I'm not used to 9 year old boys and I'm not real sure what I'm getting in to at this point. So he tells me to look at the back of the bottle and points to the description. There on the back of the bottle it says that Axe is girl approved. That's right...he's 9. Is it bad I bought him some?

battle cry

Captain Energy is learning how to tie his shoes. He has technically figured out the how but he is never quite fast enough at it for his own liking and instead wants us to tie them for him. He's never going to learn that way and so I always offer to assist but refuse to just tie them. The longer he tries of course the more he wants to give up ands the more he cries. He gets his loops made but loses track of where to cross everything over and cries out "I can't find the hole." All I can do is sit and try not to laugh. Let's hope he figures that issue out for good eventually.

its a sock thing

Socks have always been elusive. Everyone knows there is never a load of laundry where you wind up with matching socks. I think I have only actually pulled that off twice in my entire life. But I now have two boys who wear the same size socks and they seem to be somehow producing socks while I sleep. On a good day I usually have about 5 socks in each wash that don't match and often times I swear I find socks in a wash I have never even seen before. There's this one damn sock with this green stripe on the toe and I have NO idea where it came from or where its damn mate is.

Aside from my inabilty to match issues these things now show up all over my house. At any given time i usually have a rogue sock on the coffee table, under the kitchen table, in the dog bowl or in the back seat of my car...always just one though. Where's the other one? It's not like i see either of the boys walking around with just one sock on.

Last night I'm laying in bed...laying in a bed i have just made up with clean sheets...and i feel something under the sheets. I don't think much about it but it's kind of annoying me so i get out of bed and pull back the sheets...and yup, you guessed's a rogue sock.

Friday, July 9, 2010

happy friday

This morning i awoke to a whoopee cushion going off over and over...i suspect it was Captain Energy.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

sign here please

They were dropped off at my door the first time we met them by a driver and i signed for them like i would a UPS package. They had been picked up from homes they had been living at for 10 months by a stranger and brought to our house where they were told they would meet two new people. They walked into my house without hesitation and all i could think of was had that been me at that age I would have been crying. I can not imagine how any child at any age deals with they aren't so broken they can't even function. But they do...they hung out with us and ate dinner and played. The 9 year old even had enough foresight to have an agenda for the meeting. He had clearly been told why they were coming to visit us...that being our house may be an opportunity for the two of them to move back in together. So it was very clear he was scouting us and the place out. Near the end of the visit he said he had some questions. He wanted to know how old we were, he wanted to know if we had bikes they would get to use and he wanted to know if they would get to go to the pool a lot. It was a very small agenda (im sure any 9 year old's is) but it was an agenda none the less and it impressed me he had one. It also made me sad that a 9 year old has been through so much already that he instinctively knows he needs an agenda. At the end of the visit the same driver (now a little less of a stranger) came back, I signed them back over to her and they were taken back to their respective foster homes. At that time they had no idea if they would be coming back to live with us or not. For all they knew they would meet 8 more families just like us before someone said yes. These kids have nothing to depend on but the system. They have to hope the system has made the best decisions in who gets to be a foster family, they have to hope the family they wind up with doesn't have a hidden agenda and they have to hope the system gets them to where they need to be to make it in the end.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A New Chapter

Something possessed the husband and I (maybe me more than he husband...he just followed) to tackle the challenge of becoming foster parents and we now have two boys, 6 & 10, living with us. We were not parents before this so we are currently battling the challenges of parenthood but also battling being parents to two kids we just met who came with their own baggage. Some days are a mess and other days are actual disasters but every few days we get something right.

Not only did these two role into our house with their own belongings (so much shit I had to actually get a storage unit) but they also showed up with their own personalities that have been years in the making. Personalities we now have to figure out how to negotiate and entertain and wrangle after only having known them for 4 weeks.

The 9 year old is caught somewhere in an in-between land with one foot in childhood and one foot in adulthood and his mood swings are often and quick. He is demanding and bossy and thinks he knows everything.

The 6 year old has so much energy I'm pretty sure he runs in his sleep.

Here's introducing Mr. Grumpy Pants & Captain's their world...I'm just visiting.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

one funny lady

Tonight I learned that Betty White is a good sport and a funny, funny lady. THAT is how we are supposed to age....I can only hope to be 1/2 as cool as that at 88. Happy Mother's Day motherfuckers:)

Friday, May 7, 2010

i'll be in the chicken coop

Today I learned that I am a chicken shit. I had a ticket to the Chelsea Handler book signing at Rainy Day books. While I had my book I also had a small bottle of Belvedere vodka in my purse. But the Nazis at the book store kept repeating how she would only be signing books and I chickened out at the last minute and didn't ask if she would sign my bottle. My fault lay in the fact that 1. I hate to get in trouble and 2. I didn't have one of my three companions with me who give me courage. If one of them had been with me I think i would have talked myself into asking.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

who's in charge

Not everyone was cut out to be the fact some people fail miserably at it.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

not for the faint of heart

Chewing gum can make your heart beat faster.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

cheesy tuttle knowledge

May 4th is often known as Star Wars Day...may the 4th be with you.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

stick it

Kid's toothbrushes have suction cups on the bottoms of the handles.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

sip on this

Why are there so many different kinds of sippy cups....jesus.

Friday, April 30, 2010

don't ask me to pronounce that

Paraskavedekatriaphobia is the fear of Friday the 13th.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

pants on fire

Everyone is going to lie to you about something along the way.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

vegan in the making

Alektorophobia is the fear of chickens.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

too big for me

There are 37 zip codes in NYC.

Monday, April 26, 2010

it's a.....


Sunday, April 25, 2010

always hungry

Noodle houses in China are open 24 hours.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

doesn't count

Today i discovered just because some place promotes themselves as a WiFi hot spot does not mean they are. I went to get my oil changed today thinking my dealership had WiFi. What they were actually offering was access to their business Internet which had all sorts of blockers up to prevent their employees from visiting certain sites. I couldn't even get on

Friday, April 23, 2010


44 out of 500 people will think about committing suicide this year and 22 of those people will actually attempt it.

Frank Warren does a lot for suicide prevention with the proceeds from his PostSecret books. Check him out at It's a haunting and fascinating ride.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

one earth, one chance

This year was the 40th anniversary of Earth Day. What's taking so long???

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

we met on the corner of facebook and

1 out of 6 marriages last year were between people who met online.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

unexpected validations

Today i discovered my work does not go unnoticed.

Monday, April 19, 2010

mad skills

My husband and I have mad painting skills...we can kick out an entire room in about 2 1/2 hours.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

the long way around

I had to get a TB test as part of my licensing to become a foster parent. I don't know anything about TB so while I was with the doctor I asked some questions about why the health department requires TB tests. The doctor told me that it was protocol from decades ago that has just been rolled over and over. In his opinion though the test is pointless. What i discovered was that unless you are native to the US, a TB test will more than likely come back as positive. Outside of the US it is common for people to be vaccinated for TB. And if you have been vaccinated, that strain will always be present and kick out as a positive test.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

still clueless...

but I did learn three new chess moves today.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

as dirty as it sounds

Today i discovered (while with my mother no less) that there is an ATM in Bazookas upstairs in the porn shop. We were downtown eating and realized we had no cash for parking at the show we were headed to. The boy who had seated us thought it would be the appropriate place to send me and my 56 year old mother when we asked where the closest ATM was. I looked at him and then at my mother and then back at him and said "or...." and he directed us to the nearest gas station.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

whose idea was this anyways?

Today i discovered we are only 3 weeks out from our home being licensed for foster care.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

put your back into it

I learned that 9 hours of errands, painting a room in 2 1/2 hours and cleaning a garage all in one weekend is more than two people should ever bite off.

Monday, April 12, 2010

bobby fisher started somewhere

Today I learned how to read and write chess moves.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Blos stands for Beyond Line of Site (which is 600 miles).

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I scream, you scream, we all scream...

In Singapore they eat ice cream wrapped in a piece of bread.

Friday, April 9, 2010

happy birthday

About 10 million people share my birthday.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

a world of difference

Today i learned that Elian Gonzalez turned 16. How different his world would be today if he hadn't gone back home.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

who cares

Acedia is the profound indifference and inability to care about things that matter, even to the extent that you no longer care that you can't care.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

the beatiful people

Cecil Beaton was a portrait photographer and an academy awrd winning costume designer (he designed and won for My Fair Lady). He was in love with the world of high society, theater and glamour and was considered the foremost fashion and portrait photographer of his day. He photographed for five decades and his subjects ranged from the Stilwells to the Rolling Stones.

Monday, April 5, 2010

on to the next one

We live in a society where there is ALWAYS something to do. Television shows, movies, shopping, video games, anything and everything online, sports, jobs, school, phones, texts, ipads. But Sunday was Easter...and I don't know if its like this everywhere....but in the Midwest shit shuts down for this holiday. So I'm outside on Sunday and there are kids and families everywhere. Some I had never seen before and Ive lived in my house for over 6 years now. They were out with remote control cars and skateboards...they were playing catch and sitting eating at picnic tables. And I couldn't help but think what a shame it is that it takes a random holiday before families spend time interacting with each other. In my opinion it would be so much better if we all just slowed the hell down.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

new york state of mind

The Empire State building was originally supposed to be a blimp port in the sky. A mooring was built on what is now the base of the television tower. The idea was that passengers could fly directly into Manhattan, getting off at the ESB, instead of landing in one of the boroughs or New Jersey. Only one blimp ever successfully docked at the Empire State Building, and that was only for three minutes.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Just cause youre a boy doesn't mean you are very good at golf.

Friday, April 2, 2010

breathe in...

A friendship can end on an exhale.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

the unexpected

You can find a new set of friends in the most unlikely of spots.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

vegetarian in the making

Alektorophobia is the fear of chickens.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

seeing is better than thinking

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Monday, March 29, 2010

thats a lot of nuts

850 peanuts go into 18 ounces of peanut butter.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

practice baby

A child they took from an orphanage and used in home economics programs at women's colleges circa 1946. They were flesh-and-blood classroom aids to serve as a trial child for housewives-in-training. This phenomenon flourished at universities until the late 60s.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

not that kind of runner

I determined today that there is nothing in me that would make me participate in a race I already paid for in the pouring rain...and oh yea, did i mention it was 40 and raining. I am NOT the poster girl for Nike's Just Do It campaign.

Friday, March 26, 2010

its as dirty as you think

A merkin is false hair for the female pudenda. The custom of wearing merkins dates from 1450 and was associated with prostitutes. It was used to disguise either pubic hair shaved off to exterminate body lice or evidence of venereal disease.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

now im scared

Phobophobia is the fear of fearing.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

never underestimate....

the ability of anyone to be more manipulating then you could ever imagine. People are smarter than they look sometimes.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

friends 101

There is always going to be that one person who never gives up on you. I found mine.

Monday, March 22, 2010

monday melt down

you can find comfort in the most unlikely places.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

mad hatter

hat makers used to actually go mad from breathing in the fumes from the chemicals they used.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


sleeping until noon is a waste of a day...but sometimes that is okay.

Friday, March 19, 2010

if you don't like the weather...wait a minute

when you live in kansas you can leave for work with no coat cause its 60 out then get sleeted on later that night while you load groceries into the car.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

i can't hear you

a crickets ears are on its front legs.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

open up and say ahh...

a crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

walk like a what?

emus and kangaroos can't walk backwards.

Monday, March 15, 2010

blow this

You can blow sugar much like one would blow glass. It's a technique used by cake decorators and its pretty freaking cool.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

speaking of testicles...

the inaugural Tour de France was held in 1903.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

of course they did

The word testimony comes from men in Roman times taking an oath before the court that they were telling the truth. To insure their statements were accurate, they swore on their testicles.

Friday, March 12, 2010

license to breed

Tonight i discovered it takes three adults to figure out how the hell to put together something they call a pack-n-play. Didn't know what these were before tonight and still couldn't tell you how to do it again.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

one hell of a ride

Edgar Allan Poe was orphaned as a child, disowned by his foster father, dismissed from the University of Virginia, courtmartialed at West Point, married his cousin when she was 13, got fired from almost every job he had, spent most of his life broke, died penniless and was buried without a tombstone.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

now you see me...

I can be gone from work for 2 hours and 15 minutes and no one notices I'm gone. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

on the cat walk

Today i discovered that apparently i have a better fashion sense than i thought...i just need to trust my instincts better. And oh yea...a $5 skull ring is almost just as good as the $200 skull ring I have been coveting.

Monday, March 8, 2010

where there's smoke

When medieval clans wanted to dispose of unwanted folks without murdering them, they just burned their houses to the ground as a small hint...thus the phrase "to get fired."

Sunday, March 7, 2010

small and mighty

Today i learned that just because you're the biggest and baddest and cost the most money doesn't mean your the best. Oh yea...and women are still getting their firsts circa 2010.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

it remembers

Today i learned the body has way more muscle memory than I would have expected. My 5 mile run (the first after a couple months) was WAY easier than i thought it would be. 10K here I come.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Dinner: $13
Gas to the show: $5
Tickets to the show: $45
Getting the tickets for free and seeing some of the world's best b-boys and b-girls: Priceless

Thursday, March 4, 2010

innocent until proven guilty

today i learned how to get fingerprinted...although im not sure they would ever have a hard time proving i did it. I do only have 6 fingerprints.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

how old is your fish

Koi can live to be 60.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

hollywood politics

A producer on the Hurt Locker has been banned from the attending the Oscars because he openly campaigned against a rival film.

Monday, March 1, 2010

im a cynic...

but some people, regardless of their track record, can and will still surprise you. I love surprises.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

a breath of fresh air

Don't get me wrong, Avatar was amazing. I forgot I was actually watching computer generated characters about half way through the movie. But old school special effects still kick ass. I checked out The Wolfman last weekend and it was awesome. It really was actors in costume and concoctions of red goo being pulled from fake body cavities. And a hell of a show down b/w Benecio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins.

Unfortunately 10 years from now it will be Avatar they are still talking about...not The Wolfman

Saturday, February 27, 2010

rock talks

I discovered we have a new hotel on the KU campus . It was built in the place of a campus icon "The Crossing" and it smells of money. The alumni will love it.

Friday, February 26, 2010

government at its best

The people at the social security office are not nice people. And after giving me the run around and making me bend over backwards to get verification of who i am has given me a new social security card with only a verbal declaration of my name and soc number and my medical records.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

if you're not careful, you'll miss it

You blink about 4,200,000 times a year.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

god saves

Apparently when Wayne Simien was a junior at KU he found God. And while I don't always understand that, for him it was a good thing. It got him off the drinking, the drugs and the women. But the next part of his story is what I really find interesting.

After college he of course entered the NBA and that's where he discovered there is no room for God. Players figured it would only be a matter of time before he was out boozing it up, whoring it up, drugging it up. Some even made it a mission to turn him. But he wasn't having any part of that and after a couple years he left the NBA. Not because he was hurt and not because no one wanted him, but because he couldn't find a place there where it was okay to believe what he did. And while I still don't understand or agree with the whole 'god' thing, I find it sad that a guy who is so good at basketball...a guy who bleeds crimson and blue...thought the only way to stay true was to remove himself from that group of people. It crushes me a group like the NBA is so corrupt and dysfunctional that there is no place for a Christian. What a great group of role models we have there.

Simien is back in Lawrence and I think he'll do much greater things there than any of those players will ever do.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

you'd think i would learn

I don't always get what I want.

Monday, February 22, 2010

tech support

Today I learned that you can use another phone services phone only if that phone is unlocked first.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

girls and boys

Girls have more taste buds than boys.

red balloon goodbyes

A good friend of mine is leaving town. He's found love...and it's not here. So I have to let him go.

Friday night was his going away party and for reasons unknown to me we wound up at The Red Balloon. It was an interesting night to say the least. A lot of us had not been there before so we headed over together as we had heard the crowd was a little rough around the edges. I'm half way there when my friend Wagner calls. Wants to know where the hell we are. Her and her boyfriend are the only one's there and they are being sized up by the locals. We're coming I tell her.

Now don't get me wrong...I don't hang out with pretentious people...but this was a little outside most of our comfort zones and I'm pretty sure the people there totally thought we were pretentious.

A couple of us walk in together to a room of folding tables and chairs. There's a bar in the corner and the locals look scary...and they are eyeing us suspiciously. We sit down and order drinks. I get lucky they have a vodka i like...the beers are miller, miller light, bud, bud light and not much more. Some of us are subject to ATM fees as this is a cash only establishment. We are still being eyed by the locals. We try to ignore the girls who look like they could lay us out with one punch and pretend not to see the ass crack hanging out or the belly hanging below his shirt and over his sweat pants. The menu consists of spaghetti o's, tator tots and potatoe's (trust me...every marketing manager with me found those mis-spellings and then some).

About 30 minutes in we have a pretty good crowd so we are a little less intimidated until its time to go to the bathroom. We have decided to go in pairs (we have also agreed to go to the bar in pairs) but there is really only room for one person in the two stall bathroom. Let's just say I'm glad i like my co-workers. I guess the men's bathroom was worse with one urinal and two stalls without doors. The stalls were kind of raised and one of my friends was just waiting to walk in on some guy taking a shit for everyone to see.

The worst part of the evening was the fact that this is one of the last "smoking is okay inside" establishments left in the area. Half way through the night I knew I was gonna pay for this. I wound up with every piece of clothing smelling (down to my bra) along with my leather purse and leather boots...I was sent straight to the shower when i got home. I think I sounded like a smoker for the better part of the weekend.

Some of the best parts of the evening consisted of:

1. The bartender running through the entire play list of Evanescence karaoke style

2. My good friend being approached by a very mean looking female local who wanted to (and succeeded at) rubbing his clean shaven bald head

3. Every woman in the joint screaming along to a karaoke version of Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know"

4. Chewey and T-Wag singing Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Light"

5. Else hugging me so she could rub her boobs against mine

While saying goodbye sucks, as I sat in this dive bar on Friday I realized that somehow over the past 5 1/2 years I have managed to meet some of the best people I'll probably ever meet. It's taken a long time for me to finally fall into a group of friends who are mine, who will always get me, who will help me to the end...but they were all there Friday night. And they may come and go, and they may be hard to hold onto sometimes and they ALL have their flaws....but their mine. And I wouldn't trade any of them for anything. There isn't any place I wanted to be Friday night except with them...even if it meant that in the end I had to let one of them go.

And I did. He has been a huge part of my life for 5 years and he's one of the one's I'll know till the end. I'll miss him terribly and I love him to death but he's not going far and forever is a long I can't say he'll be gone forever. But if he is, I have to be OK with that...because he found what he's been looking for. And in the end, we all deserve to get what we want, right?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

undercover boss

One of the better reality shows ive seen. All CEOs should do this.

Friday, February 19, 2010

smokers wanted

I was not aware that there was any place left in the kansas city area where you could still smoke inside. But I found it...its called the Red Balloon.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

shut your pie hole

I am taking a class on Thursday night. And anyone who has taken any class knows there is always that one person who loves to hear themselves talk. The one who has an answer for EVERYTHING. Well, I've got one...and tonight I discovered that in a 3 hour period it is possible for someone to talk 45 different times. Funny thing is, I've told this woman 3 times now where I live and every time I tell her she acts like this is completely new information to her. She maybe needs to work a little more on listening.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

bureaucracy at its best

Today i discovered that I can't get a new driver's license without an updated social security card that I never got after I got married. So i trek over to the social security office the day after my license has expired and find out i can't get a new social security card with an expired license and a wedding certificate that is from more than 2 years ago. I'm instructed to get medical records to prove who I am...because clearly yesterday with a valid ID I could prove I was me, but today I can't. The best part is, I walk into the doctor's office and sign for the release of my medical records and NO ONE asks to see my ID. Awesome!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

happy birthday to me

It couldn't have been better. But amidst celebrating the b-day I also discovered sometimes you just have to give people time to figure things out and make things up to you in their own time.

Monday, February 15, 2010


Looking forward to something is sometimes just as good as the actual something.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

well read

I have too many books. But this discovery has led the husband into thinking I need a bookcase...and he's gonna build me one.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

honesty is the best policy

Today i discovered 6-year-olds are very honest.

We went to dinner tonight for my b-day with mandy and derek and they had Gabe. My car is bigger than there's and we took mine so we would have room for 4 adults and a booster seat. Gabe climbs in my back seat and says "wow, this car is clean." My sister's car is a crapfest on a good day and it made me laugh. He tried to retract when he realized my sister was jokingly offended but didn't know quite how to do that.

Friday, February 12, 2010

worth while

My commute to and from work is long and tedious most days...especially during the dead of winter. But today the sun was out a little and the clouds were moving fast and I got quite the show. These are the days that its all worth it. So while everyone else drove shorter distances and stared at stop light after stop light, I got this...

Thursday, February 11, 2010

trying to be a better friend

I discovered that it's really nice to have a friend who just gets you. One you can go to for help and advice. One who forgives you no matter what. But I have to keep in mind that I have to let them in, in order for that to be the case.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

everything's bigger in texas

I think I'd like Austin, Texas. Apparently its a lot like the college town i live in. Their city motto is 'Keep Austin Weird' (how cool is that?) and their liquor stores are small warehouses with free samples. That's my kinda town.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

poke me

Today i learned a little bit about acupuncture for dogs and the downfalls of store bought dog food.

Monday, February 8, 2010

running scared

Today I discovered my father is scared of my intellect.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Apparently there is a world championship for jump ropers. Check out America's Best Dance Crew...amazing shit right there.

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Gentleman only ladies forbidden. Glad that changed...I like to golf.

Friday, February 5, 2010

temperature control please

Today I determined I boil fast.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

fly only zone

Hummingbirds can't walk.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

was that a game?

Today I learned that apparently KU is only going to play as good as the team they are playing this year. These close, over time games suck it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Today i learned that good company overcomes mediocre food. I think good company can overcome a lot of things. Thank you.

Monday, February 1, 2010

accepting your fate

I have to except the fact that I will always be the one that others come to for help. And I think I'm okay with that.

Sunday, January 31, 2010


Today i learned that putting yourself all out there might not be a bad thing. Scary as hell...but maybe not all bad.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

fear this

athazagoraphobia - the fear of being forgotten or ignored. I think this explains why Facebook is so popular.

Friday, January 29, 2010

suck it up

To all those people out there who like to feel sorry for themselves, who want sympathy for their flaws or crummy the Winter X Games mono ski event and then come talk to me. If a guy with no legs can figure out how to ski, I'm not sure you can justify the crying.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

i don't see color

Tonight I learned that up until a law was passed in 1994, the state could still reject adoptions that would mix race. So if a white couple was willing to take an African American baby, the state had the right to say no.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

its about that time

I need a new job.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Number of gallons of water saved in one year by peeing in the shower daily: 1,157.

Monday, January 25, 2010

not injury free

I woke up Sunday morning and could barely move. I don't have back issues but i have tweaked something and good god it hurts. My sister told me i should try these icy hot patches...her husband swears by them. So i picked some up and stuck one on this morning before heading to work. They are awesome. They get hot then cold...and while they smell not so great...they seem to work. Eight hours later i went to take it off...and that's when i learned my something new today. Holy hell do they hurt like a son of bitch when you rip them off. It was like one huge band aid that i couldn't reach well enough to rip off fast. I'm pretty sure at this point I have no hair (or skin for that matter) left on my lower back.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

google this

If you pull up google maps and use the live mode it starts out by centering you over Lawrence, Kansas. Apparently the guy who developed Google maps graduated from KU.

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Buddhists believe Americans have what they call "monkey minds." This is a Buddhist term to describe the constant jumping around of our minds from one thought or worry to the next.

Friday, January 22, 2010

good food, horrible name

Fridays we eat lunch out at work. For me, it's the only day I eat out. There are 4 of us who make this journet out every Friday abd it takes us FOREVER to decide where we going. We have to accommodate my 'no red meat or pork' eating habits and the new dieting habits of two of my co-workers. Some weeks we start discussions on Thursday afternoon and still won't have a spot picked out as Friday at 11:30 rolls around. Today we somehow settled (quickly) on a new place called Cheddars. It's a horrible, horrible name....I honestly have NO idea what it has to do with anything. But regardless of the name, today i learned that good god do they have great food. And that means a lot coming from me. I can take food or leave for me to be impressed may mean you might want to check it out. But if you do, pick an off time as I also learned today that it's damn near impossible to get in the place.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

stopping the crazy

The best plan really is to just take it day by day.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

finding my way through

Today i learned that you can't let someone who doesn't even know you make you feel bad. Jealousy is an ugly, ugly emotion and I'm not gonna apologize for the person I am.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

i belong behind the camera

Today i discovered I can't get a picture taken without having my eyes closed to save my life. I went 0 for 5 today.

Monday, January 18, 2010

just another shitty monday

Sometimes you have to let go.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

im missing the baby gene

Today's new...I still don't like baby showers.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

who would have thought

Today i learned that running 3 miles after being off for about a month wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Although I think i also learned I need some new shoes...i have developed a squeak in the left one.

why i'm a lush - reason #13

My sister called and asked if I could bring the wine to the baby shower tomorrow.

i still miss you

I had a dream last of those dreams that is so vivid you KNOW it is actually happening. You remember the feels and the smells and when you wake up you're not sure what was real and what wasn't. But I knew none of this one was real because when i woke up I remembered you're still dead.

But for a few moments last night in the in between...I got you back.

You were playing drums. You didn't play drums...I know that. But you were playing them at some house party. Not well...but it was funny. Then when you left this little stage someone had set up you came over to me and gave me a hug. One of your hugs that always made someone feel so unbelievably safe. You were a good hugger...anyone will tell you that. They even talked about that at your memorial. Then you walked away and I knew you weren't coming back.

And then I woke up...back to the place where you are not anymore.

Friday, January 15, 2010

boys are dumb...

that's all I learned today (and maybe that wasn't even new...maybe it was just re-affirmed.)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

ill give you something to talk about

I don't know whether this is a new protocol at theaters across the nation, but in my area of the world some of the theaters now make you pick an assigned seat as you purchase your ticket. You are of course required to then sit in said seat once inside the theater. The disadvantage of this is now people buying tickets online are picking seats days before the show. So even if you show up at a decent time the night of to get tickets you could get hosed on seating. So i decided to get my ticket online the night before for the show i saw last night just to be safe.

Things go pretty seamlessly. I get to the theater, scan my credit card, get my already paid for ticket and wander into the theater. About 5 minutes before the movie starts the theater begins to fill up. I, of course, have a couple sit down right next to their 'assigned' seats. No seat in between us. They do have a seat empty on the other side of them. I also have a seat open on my other side. I figure after the movie starts i'll scoot over if it stays empty. Then i have 3 more people wander into my row on the other side. They don't sit in the seat right next to me, but this does mean i now won't be moving over. The movie starts and the seat on the other side of the couple to my right remains empty. I figure, sweet, maybe they will move down. Nope...not a chance. So now I'm stuck right next to this woman and what don't you know...she's chatty.

So now I'm awkwardly sitting too close to a person i don't know...who you would think could scoot over and she's gonna talk. The really awesome thing about the situation is I'm supposed to sit in my assigned im stuck. Even if I wanted to move, this whole 'pick before you enter' deal makes for really random seating patterns. The random empty seats I could move to are in awkward positions in the middle of aisles and groups of people.

So i spend the next two hours wondering how I'm not gonna shoosh this woman next to me. She tells her husband the names of all the random actors she recognizes. She reads every city name that flashes on the screen...out loud. It takes everything in me to not yell at her how we are all capable of reading. I then discover she isn't keeping up with what's going on. So she has to ask her husband whose wedding they are at and how old he thinks a certain character is. She asks what one characters name is and predicts what is going to happen after an important scene. She would also make this weird 'mmmm' sound during certain parts of the movie. I never did figure out what would happen on screen that would elicit that sort of verbal noise.

About 3/4 of the way through she had grown oddly quiet for about 20 minutes. I thought I just might be home free when suddenly her husband pulls out a bag of chips they had brought from home...a big bag...that wasn't open yet. I almost threw my purse at his head as he attempted for a full 30 seconds to 'quietly' open a bag that can not be opened quietly no matter how hard one tries.

Needless to say I am not a big fan of these new seating rules. With my new 42" tv and a surround sound at home along with a husband who doesn't talk during movies, I'm not sure how many movies I will see in the theaters this year. Especially if chatty cathy is assigned the seat directly next to me.

tech support

Today I learned what an RSS feed was and how to use one.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

thats what he said

So last night i was on my way home from a movie and I was listening to Love Line with Doctor Drew on a local radio station. It was about 10:30 and i had almost given up on learning somthing new for the day when i ran across this tidbit. Apparently a guy's penis can continue growing into his early 20s. And in instances during his life when he is feeling say a new can temporarily grow longer for a while due to more testoterone being produced during these periods of his life.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

how do you figure?

The economy sucks, but I can get online at 11:58 on a Tuesday night and shop. Wouldn't you think with the ability to shop at all hours more shopping would be done and therefore the economy wouldn't be in the crapper?


Today i discovered that i read so many books that I can't remember sometimes if ive read a book or not.

Monday, January 11, 2010

monday yoga

Tonight in yoga class I learned that Nancy sounds like she's having an orgasm in every damn pose we do. It's hard not to laugh.

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Today i learned that i might not be too bad at making a pretty good bloody mary.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


Today's new...a mexican hot chocolate has cayenne pepper in it.

Friday, January 8, 2010


Today I learned something from someone unexpected. I discovered that if you own a string of pearls, they are strung with a knot in between each pearl. This is done for two reasons. First, if the pearls are allowed to rub against each other over a long period of time they will begin to wear down. Second, if your necklace should break, all the pearls will not slide off. The string will just break but you don't risk losing a pearl.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Learned that if Stephen King recommends a movie...even if he says its just good, not should watch it. You should check it out...The Carriers.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I learned that KU fans are devoted enough (and crazy enough) to drive down k10 to see a game during white out conditions.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


I learned that other people actually see me as a runner...even though I still don't consider myself one.

Monday, January 4, 2010


If you just put in a little extra effort to be a little nicer or to explain things a little more, you'll get further with someone in the end.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

sunday's new

I discovered the corporation behind the yellow 'planet aid' clothes drop boxes actually re-sell the clothes and then use the profits to help communities in Africa and Asia.

On the way to learning this, I also discovered that while i try really hard not to be a pack rat, i unabashadly am one . I delivered 5 trash bags of old clothes to my local drop off and threw away so much old jewelry it filled half a shopping bag from Macy's.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

another new

Today I discovered Andy Warhol had a shoe and foot fetish and designed the well-known zippered album cover of the Rolling Stones' Sticky Fingers.

Friday, January 1, 2010

something new

I have been known to be a fan of a project or challenge if you will. And while I have actually attempted this project a couple times I thought I might try it again. So...I have heard if you pay enough attention, you actually learn something new every day. I thought what the hell I'll give it a go since I actually learned something new today. So along with the random my friend is so fond of, we are going to attempt 365 days of something new. Here's my first:

Today I learned that the legal drinking age was 18 through 1984. I had not realized it was that recent.